Chapter 1: Band

The Hobbits, Johan de Meij
Life is the first great adventure. There are a few afterwards, but most of us here are currently on the adventure of life. There are so many places to explore, people to meet, and one ring to destroy. We can’t do it alone. We’ve got each other. We all need a band of heroes [gesture backwards] for our magical quest. The exciting events of our journey are much more meaningful when we experience them together. Tonight, our fellowship will guide you through one last journey in this leg of our adventure.

Nimrod, Edward Elgar

[First speaker]

If we cannot embrace one another

What hope do we have of life?

What hope is there to survive at all?

Love of another human being—

It cannot be wrong.

[Second speaker]

We all live together

And come to embrace

The splendid variety of life on earth

Good and bad

Sweet and sour

Take it for what it is: the glory of life. And this, this cannot be wrong.

(Taken from Big Love, a play by Charles Mee)

Colossus of Columbia, Russell Alexander
Twirling, tumbling, falling. Flung from one event from the next, it’s easy for us to slip and fall from the tightrope onto the hard ground. But if, laughing and smiling, we fly from one trapeze to the next, everything seems a little easier. Here it is, the giant big top of high school, and we’ve climbed to the top again, ready for the finale. We’re as exited and anxious as you are.

Will There Really be a Morning?, Craig Hella Johnson
At night, full of the day’s darkness, you yearn to be refreshed by the soft, morning sunlight. Morning is the most beautiful time of the day. The sky is full of all the light and hope that it lost over the day. The sky welcomes you home with its bright and joyful colors. The air is fresh and inviting. In the morning, you are free. The darkness is gone, and as you venture out into the day, you are comforted by the sweet remembrance of that peaceful morning.

Esprit de Corps, Robert Jager
Playing a piece that is full of life is what finally caused me to practice like I meant it. When all your hard work comes to life in the space of the auditorium, there is no feeling quite like it. I found this feeling when high school band showed me how friendships, camaraderie, and great music were made. We will bring the music of teamwork, the strength of friendships, and the power of band to life in this auditorium tonight. Here, we will demonstrate the joy of making music.

The Turtle Dove, Donald Krubsack
I’m going to hate being a senior. My role models, my friends, my mentors will all be gone. My disillusionment will continue. I’m going to have to leave once this is all over. I’m going to be the one who has to show the young ones the way. I’m going to be a leader. I’m going to be admired and remembered. I get to do this one last time. I’m going to love being a senior.

Synergy Rising, Ryan Nowlin
We all can think of something we care about. A person, a group, a cause, a faith. One of the things I care about the most is this band. We’ve all come together from different walks of life to make music every day in second block. Something more difficult to think about is why we care about something. I care about this band because we represent the best and brightest of this school, the promising future, and the value of the human spirit. We must all remember to band together to create a deep and composite meaning. With so much variety to sound and color, band music has so much soul. We hope the soul of our music has found you tonight, as we bid you a triumphant farewell and soar on to new horizons.

Adventure, Journeys, Freedom
Ian

P.S. Once I have the recordings of us playing these pieces, I will put those up instead of these YouTube links.

Chapter 0: Priorities

I’ve started to become addicted to YouTube instead of anime. I haven’t watched anime since only a few days after spring break. I haven’t been watching YouTube more profusely since then—this is actually fairly recent. And I haven’t been far reaching with my YouTube adventure. I have watched more of some familiar faces, but the biggest change is that I have become engaged in the activities of the Vlogbrothers, John and Hank Green. I am learning how to be entertaining from their vlogs and also from Hank playing video games on a separate channel of his.

The problem is that I’ve somehow lost motivation to watch the anime that is probably simpler to get to than the stuff on YouTube. I wouldn’t have to wait for the video to load or buffer or whatever you want to call it, and it’s got higher quality and lasts longer per episode. I just haven’t been motivated. Part of the neglect is possibly the lack of decent shows this season, but even the one show I couldn’t wait to watch the second episode for (and still haven’t) doesn’t draw me away from the YouTubes or other sites on the interwebs.

I guess I have given myself a lot of new things to do. This blogging thing takes up a lot of time, especially when you throw out your first four drafts. I stopped playing Pokémon religiously recently, and I haven’t played Guild Wars in a long time. I have been practicing with greater frequency, however (though I didn’t today :L ). Maybe my priorities have switched. Maybe it’s because my normally mobile laptop is confined to the back room in the basement. Maybe when summer rolls around I will be back to how I felt at the end of sophomore year.

Yeah, right.

How I’ve digressed from a comparison of YouTube adventures and anime into some other depressing thing is evidence of how draining being a junior can be. I have fond memories of summer last year. I was full of adventure and exploration and love of nature. I went to Europe for 14 days, (oooh, now that is something to blog about later) I expanded my social horizons even more, and summer was good.

This summer I have big plans, too, and I hope that I’ll be able to shake this feeling of anxiety once I’ve left the high school for one last time as a junior. I don’t want to be anxious all summer. That would be ruinous.

So cheer up! We’ve made it somewhere—maybe not somewhere that can be called “this far,” but somewhere. Somewhere is a great place to have an adventure in. Let’s make it through this last leg, and let’s make it an adventure.

Adventure, Dreams, Freedom
Ian

Chapter 0: Premonition

I don’t think there are multiple ways to live your life. Certain aspects of life are up to chance, but when given the exact same circumstances, a person would take the same action every time. Time travel is not one of the circumstances. If you knew what you knew in the future, of course your decision would be influenced. We always have thoughts about what we could have done differently, but we didn’t have those thoughts at that point. We will have the exact same thoughts if a scenario is replayed over and over again. (In Fire Emblem, if you take the same moves every time, even though events are up to chance, they will always happen the same way.) I am not insinuating that we don’t have free will. We are all free to make our own decisions; I do not believe in predestination. The power we do not have is premonition. Premonition always suspiciously happens after you make a choice—after the damage has been done.

I can think back to a thousand different things that could have, should have, would have gone smoother, better, wonderfully, perfect if I had said this or done that. Too bad. I can’t change it now that it’s happened. And you could take that positively or negatively. You could cry in a corner, thinking that there’s always a better way to do things, and never try again for fear of failure. OR you could go out and explore, knowing that there’s always a better way to do things, and always try to make yourself better.

When you erase what you’ve written, you’ve learned something.

            Regretting the past is no way to get into the future. It’s never a good idea to forget your mistakes, because then you’d make the same choices over and over again. There is a difference between learning and whining. I complain about things with the best of them, but I’ve got to tell myself that tomorrow is always there. If you think about how things sucked or how they suck right now, there’s no way you’ll end the suck later on. The inverse is also true. If you think about how it’s all going to be better later, you don’t realize what good you have right in front of you. I could quote a certain reptilian kung fu master here, but I’m sure you get the point by now.

I have happy memories. I have sad memories. I have moments I’d like to relive over and over again. I have regrets. I know that it would all happen again, if it did happen again. If you had the ability to know the outcome of all of your important decisions, you would never do anything again. Everything is going to have downsides, and everything is going to have upsides. What I did is who I am. What I do is who I am. I am Ian, and I am going to be myself.

"We all live together and come to embrace the splendid variety of life on earth. Good and bad, sweet and sour—take it for what it is: the glory of life. And this, this cannot be wrong."

Life, Love, Freedom
Ian

Chapter 0: Pokémon

            Pokémon is a video game franchise with spin-off games, toys, and other media. That is the hierarchy for thinking about Pokémon. Nothing comes before the storyline games. Everything about Pokémon is based on the cartridge games where the point is to collect Pokémon, gym badges, and compete against your friends.

           Pokémon is one of my biggest hobbies. I would list it as separate to video games on my list of hobbies. I like Pokémon, and you can’t convince me it’s a kid’s game or other biased comments. I’m also aware that I can’t convince the outright haters to stop hating. They’re gonna hate till the end of time. I can give reasons why you should like Pokémon, but everyone’s heard those before.

           

            I am directing this post at those of you who think something “wrong” happened with Pokémon somewhere along the way, and now you’ve decided to turn your back. I’m going to tell you why Pokémon isn’t bad— why it continues to be an entertaining and engaging video game.

            I know your arguments. I know where you think Pokémon turned sour after ten years, but that’s actually where you turned sour. This is what I hear all the time about the new Pokémon games:

“All the new Pokémon look ugly!”

“There are too many Pokémon now!”

 “They’ve lost all their creativity!”
“They’ve made the game too complicated!”

            A lot of comments and those of the same ilk stem from not accepting changes as good things. A good example of this is Facebook. My Psychology teacher showed us a Facebook page and prompted the class “Facebook made some changes a while back, right? And everyone complained? Can you remember how the old one looked?” There was an energized silence in the room as everyone struggled to remember what the Facebook page used to look like, but to no avail. In this situation, there was the disadvantage of not being able to reference the old page, unlike being able to play an older Pokémon game. Referencing the old page could unearth features that were good as well as bad.

           

            Pokémon games keep what is good, and make changes for the better. We can go back to the older games and see why improvements were made. Gamers are quick to criticize sequels for not being up to par with the original game, but in sticking close to a formula that works, Pokémon games improve with each new generation.

“All the new Pokémon look ugly!”

            I know you’re all attached to your favorite “classic” Pokémon that you thought were “badass” before you even knew what “badass” meant.

I’m not making the claim that Generation V Pokémon are the coolest, but when you take a comparison of the video game images for these Pokémon, I dare you to make the “ugly” claim.

                         

I’m not dissing the design of the Generation I pokemon, in fact, I do think Charizard looks cool. The Sugimori art is great, and that is probably the image you have in mind when you think of Charizard. That’s great, except that’s not the “classic 150” Charizard that you know as “badass.” It’s an improvement.

“There are too many Pokémon now!”

            Is 649 Pokémon too much for you? Why is having so much variety a problem? There are so many different aspects of Pokémon that 649 possibilities (and really a lot less since battling involves mostly fully evolved Pokémon) is only scratching the surface. Around one hundred total new Pokémon, and maybe sixty fully evolved ones, every three years is not a difficult task. With the easy access to online Pokédexes everywhere, all you need to memorize is a name and associate it with a type, ability, and certain key stats and moves. Competitive battlers don’t have an encyclopedic knowledge, but they do learn to remember key points of each Pokémon from experience.

“They’ve lost all their creativity!”

            Here again we come upon the complexity of the Pokémon universe, and how there are more uncreated Pokémon than real ones. New moves, attacks, and type combinations add to the depth of the game every time a new generation of Pokémon is released. No one knows how Game Freak comes up with new Pokémon. They might come up with ideas based on how the current game is played or they might just come up with ideas straight out of their heads. The one thing for sure is that not all of the ideas they have can be put in a game. There is no guarantee that the “Original 150” that you love are the whole picture of the original concept. A Game Boy game cartridge is severely limiting once you’ve stored information on 151 different characters. There are plenty of creative ideas that are tested in each new game as new technology emerges. The ability to invent increases the creativity of the developers.

“They’ve made the game too complicated!”

            I won’t say Pokémon isn’t complicated. In fact, that’s why I play it. There are complex data behind every Pokémon that we had no clue about back in elementary school, and the games have stayed that way. If I asked an “Original 150 lover” what DVs or EVs were, all I would get in return would be a blank stare. Sure, DVs changed to IVs and have 31 values instead of 15, but I bet none of those involved in the “complication” claim would have any idea about that. I didn’t know about IVs and EVs till late Generation III, and all the knowledge did was make me love Pokémon more. There’s so much to Pokémon that is easily understood but mastered over time that makes it an addicting game. So to all you naysayers, complication is good.

Who the heck doesn’t like breeding? Who the heck doesn’t think Dark and Steel Pokémon are cool? Who in their right mind would tell me it’s more fun to play a game where you have no idea what to expect out of your Pokémon except they look “badass”? My Pokémon look badass and can kick yours.

Childhood, Victory, and Freedom

Ian

Chapter 0: Prologue

I always regret things that I write post 11 o’clock. Mrs. Hagen told me I shouldn’t apologize in my writing, but this isn’t an apology. It’s an experiment.

                                                                

I come up with schemes, plans, and complaints all the time. And none of my plans hatched entirely after dinner are ever executed. There are so many things I have been planning to do (and writing a blog is one of them). Earlier this evening I wrote up a new Pokémon team that I will probably never follow through on. As I sit here eating pretzels, I’ve already thought of three other things to do. Alice’s father believes six impossible things before breakfast, and I plot six impossible things before bed.

I myself even object to writing out that I’ll never start on that Pokémon team, since I probably won’t after I’ve announced it. I’m always telling myself and others not to think that something won’t work because they will convince themselves to fail. But maybe we all need to be a little more realistic. I’ve not thought about how my plots will actually turn out, and I’ve forgotten about a lot of them. I think that’s the issue. I’m just a dreamer, and I have to involve others before I can guarantee I’ll complete my objective.

Here comes the distraction. I turned away from the screen too long, and I almost gave up there.

I’ve got tons of ideas, grand ideas and crackpot schemes alike, but I don’t have the guts to do everything I want to. I consider myself an extrovert now, but from being entirely awkward up until 8^th grade, I have to fight myself to engage with others. I like talking to people and making new friends. I like acting and performing for others. It just took me a while to figure that out. Now I’m stuck inside a shell that I wish I could break out of at any time, but I’m conditioned to hang back and observe.

I don’t know if people like me. I’m sensitive to being called a nerd, a loser, a creep. Yet I tend to operate under the belief that people are generally good. It’s like I’m living in two different worlds. There’s a confident me that shows himself in selective situations with close friends and by myself, and the nervous me that is uncomfortable almost everywhere else. If I’m not with people I fear am judging me, I’ll be confident and have fun. But I can’t tell what a lot of people think of me, so I get apprehensive and don’t know what to do.

I’m not someone who thinks everyone hates me. Hell no. I just don’t feel comfortable if I don’t know where I stand with a person. Not many people are mean to me, and maybe that is what concerns me. I don’t know who to open up to, and honestly I would like to open up to a lot more people. (There’s confident Ian talking; all talk, that one is.) I know I certainly have made a lot of friends in high school, but just like friends on Facebook, except for the ones that write on my wall, I don’t know what to do with the other hundreds.

I’m not a depressed person. This is a downer of a first blog post, but I think it may be helpful (for you and me) to get this over with. I enjoy life; that is not an issue. I just think I can enjoy it better with others. I refuse to think that my life sucks, or that I have no worth, but I think there is even more to life than I have right now. Clouds have silver linings, but they’re not always there for the taking. I can create my own silver linings, but that’s no substitute for a genuine success in life. Someday I will succeed, and that starts right now, with little baby steps.

Fear, Hope, and Freedom

Ian